I was looking out of my bedroom window.It was very rainy and they roads were puddles.I couldn’t go to sleep.I was to bored,so I went down stairs and into the front hall and walked out the door.I didn’t even put on my shoes or jacket.I went on to the rainy road and looked infront of me.there was a homeless man on the wet street.He was shivering beside the lamp post.I walked over to him.”Come with me”,I said.He came with me.I ran across the wet and slippy road because I knew cars never came.the man crossed but out of nowhere came a car….
3 Comments
Lisa Team 100WC England
1/31/2015 12:57:27 pm
Hi Maria, this was a really interesting extract. You have used some nice details and great vocabulary to create strong images for the reader. Take care with your punctuation. You really gripped me as a reader and what an ending... Well done!
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Miss Chorley
2/1/2015 07:49:32 am
Hi Maria! What a tense and atmospheric piece of writing! You have built the tension fantastically well here. Just be careful of your punctuation.
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