The summer holidays are here and as always we have our surprise holiday. But I don't know where we are going this time. Normally I sneak in my parents room to find where we are going. But this time I don't know and I have to know before the holidays. Today my mom and dad are going out for dinner and they are leave me with Jessica (The baby Sitter). Jessica is the best she lets me do anything I want. Later I snuck into my parents room, I found the map as dad says 'The X Marks The Spot.
2 Comments
TacoLion
4/24/2015 02:47:22 am
Why is the summer holiday a surprise holiday.
Reply
Mrs Speirs (100wc Team UK)
4/26/2015 12:14:08 am
How intriguing, Adam! The curiosity of your narrator is quite infectious and makes the reader really want to know too where they might be going for their summer holidays! You have used a variety of openers, which always makes your writing more interesting. My suggestion to you is that you take care over the tense you write in: you change from present: 'The summer holidays are here' to future: 'Today....are going out....are leave (should be leaving)....' to past: 'Later I snuck....' Which are appropriate and which are misused? When you are writing, picture where, in time, the writer's perspective is in relation to the events of your tale.
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorMr. Roche's class will be posting their 100 Word Challenge here! Archives
May 2016
|